There are a few things that either didn't quite meet our standards, were lacking, or incorrect. Fortunately we feel that this can be easily revised. Here are our concerns:
We'd like for you to edit the application so that there are a lot less broken fragments and disjointed sentences. Although the application covers Hiro's personality and abilities, it was difficult to read due to how it was written. We highly advise putting it through a grammar checker or have someone read over it so that it reads more smoothly.
Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one; do not edit your original app. You have five (5) days to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. The deadline is September 10th, 11:59PM US Eastern Time. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!
REVISION
We'd like for you to edit the application so that there are a lot less broken fragments and disjointed sentences. Although the application covers Hiro's personality and abilities, it was difficult to read due to how it was written. We highly advise putting it through a grammar checker or have someone read over it so that it reads more smoothly.
Please submit your revisions as its own comment in reply to this one; do not edit your original app. You have five (5) days to submit the revisions, otherwise we will consider it a revocation of your application. The deadline is September 10th, 11:59PM US Eastern Time. If you have any questions or concerns, ask away!